How spiritualism entered my life

From being about eight years old, often, just as I was either drifting off to sleep or just waking up I would feel as though my hands and face belonged to someone else. They would always seem bigger than usual, especially my tongue and teeth; and my fingers, although they looked like they usually did, felt much larger. I was only a young child and never understood why this happened to me, nor did I ever ask anyone about it. As an eight year old child, how was I to know that this wasn’t “normal”.

When I got to thirteen I went away for a long weekend in the summer with my mum, step-dad, brother and my brothers’ friend to a cottage in Wales. It was a trip that I REALLY didn’t want to go on, I was a teenager; I’d have rather been hanging out with my friends or watching TV at home. As we only had a normal car with 5 seats there was no space for me to take a friend on the trip with us too. As a teenager, forced to do something I really didn’t want to do, I didn’t speak for the whole weekend.

The cottage was a tiny old barn conversion in the middle of nowhere. The owners lived in the Farm house a few metres away, and there was a huge daffodil field opposite the barn, but other than this, nothing. There were three bedrooms in the barn, one downstairs and two up. The upstairs bedrooms were tiny and the landing that divided the 2 rooms was only about a metre wide. The bedroom doors were made up of individual planks of wood knocked together, and they opened and closed with a latch. There was a tiny window in the room that I had and the only view was the daffodils.

I have always been, and still am, a very heavy sleeper; one who would sleep the clock round if allowed. On the day we were due to leave the cottage I found myself awake at six o’clock in the morning, the sun was up, the birds were singing; I couldn’t believe I had woken up naturally so early as I had never done this before. I looked at my watch again to double check the time, and turned over to go back to sleep; but as I did this someone caught my eye. There, at the bottom of the bed, with her back against the door stood an elderly lady. She was about 5ft 4 inches tall, quite slim, with grey roller set hair, a floral dress on with a pinny over the top of it; she had a welcoming smile on her face and a huge bunch of daffodils in her hands. She was the reason I was awake so unusually (for me) early.

At first I thought I was seeing things, I hit myself in the face and hid under the duvet; but when I popped my head back out she was still there. I didn’t know what to do, I was scared to death, I tried to scream and call out for help, but nothing would come out of my mouth at first. I couldn’t run out of the room because she was standing against the door, so I sat at the side of the bed and began to bang my feet on the floor. The downstairs bedroom was underneath mine, so I thought that my mum would hear me, but she didn’t. I found my voice and began to scream and shout whilst banging my feet, all the while not daring to take my eyes off the lady; just in case she moved closer to me or changed her position in any way. She just watched me, still wearing the warm smile; she outstretched her daffodil filled hands towards me as if to offer me the flowers. I just continued to scream and bang. What seemed like ages, but what was probably only a few minutes later, the lady began to fade away. I could see the door and the joins in the wood planks through her. She just faded, and faded, and then she was gone.

In the whole time I had been banding and screaming, no one had heard. My brother and his friend only a metre away in the other room were awake, and my mum and step-dad were still fast asleep. I couldn’t understand how, in the tiny little barn conversion, no one had heard a sound. I never saw her again, and within a few hours we set off home. My mum didn’t believe me, she told me it’d all been a dream, but I knew different.

For months after this I was frightened of my own shadow, scared of the dark, scared of going to sleep, scared of waking up; scared of everything. I started sleeping with a lamp on, and would never be home alone.

It seemed as though that was the start of my spiritual happenings. Prior to this incident I had only ever seen a green face in an old mirror in the middle of the night in a farm house in the Lake District. We were having another weekend away, but on this occasion I had a friend with me, and we’d both seen it, but it didn’t seem that big a deal then, I was probably about ten years old. After the incident in Wales I had decided that ghosts must only be in old houses, so spent most of my life avoiding ever spending any time in old places.

A few months after the incident in Wales I started to forget about it, so was once again happy to sleep in the dark and be home alone. One night as I got into bed, just as I lay down I saw a picture on the ceiling. It was more like a moving image of a swimmer with a swimming cap on, doing the crawl in a pool with lanes. Immediately I was freaked out. I leapt up, turned the light on, and it was gone. Then I was back to being scared. From here on, a series of things begun to happen over a period of a few years. Lights and the TV would turn on and off on their own. I would put something down, and when I went back for it minutes later it was gone, only to reappear again the moment I turned my back. I had a clock that would speak the time if you pressed the top of it. It would speak without being touched in the early hours of the morning. Our dogs would bark at thin air for no reason, but always in the same place in the house, the bath would run cold, even when there was hot water in the tap. Life just got weirder and weirder whilst I became more and more frightened.

By this point I was about sixteen years old and had been camping on the floor in my brothers’ room every night for about 6 months because I refused to sleep in a room alone. I had a Saturday job, and after the first month of sleeping in his room my brother realized how frightened I was, so begun to charge me £1 per night to sleep in his room. In those days a Saturday job only paid about £7 for the full day, so I basically worked just to be able to sleep!

I really was petrified, and my mum was still telling me I had a wild imagination, even though she was witnessing a lot of the things herself by this point. I was so frustrated that she wouldn’t acknowledge my fear or what was going on around our house, and then one day I overheard her talking to one of her friends on the phone. She was saying how she didn’t know what to do, and how at night something had been in her room and grabbed her out of bed. I was stunned at hearing this. She knew I didn’t have a wild imagination, she knew I was telling the truth, but she just wanted me to think that maybe the things that were happening weren’t real. Mum and I talked, she went to a spiritualist church for advice, and asked whoever was in our house to go away.

Things calmed down for a while, but never completely stopped. We all just begun to ignore the little things that happened, but I still wasn’t comfortable with it. Although I was frightened I wanted to understand the whole spiritual realm and how it worked, so I joined a circle at a spiritualist church, and my journey began from there.

MY SPIRITUAL JOURNEY

I now believe that I was meant to travel on a spiritual path throughout my life. I have been having spiritual experiences since I was around eight years old, and they’ve continued right up to the present day. On my fifteenth Birthday I opened my presents and one of them was a deck of tarot cards with a tarot book. I was shocked as it was a present from a family friend that wasn’t particularly close; and with everything that was going on spiritually at the time it unnerved me a little. I didn’t open them until around a year or so later, but found that I was very interested in them, so studied each card and meaning. For my sixteenth birthday someone bought me a deck of rune cards; again, these really interested me.

At the age of seventeen I sat in my first spiritual circle at a local spiritualist church. Here I learned to communicate with spirit in different ways, either by seeing them in my minds’ eye (clairvoyance), feeling and sensing them (clairsentience), or hearing them or their thoughts (clairaudience). Once sitting in the circle I was able to find out about similar other groups and organizations so I started to move around within different spiritual groups, circles, and classes over the years. I started to hear and see more spiritually both at home, and in my everyday life. I learned how to give spirit messages and read tarot. I experienced sight, sound, sense, smell, signs, readings, warnings, transfiguration mediumship, regression, and a whole host of other things that associate with spiritualism. I decided that I didn’t just want to give messages, but also to help people in other ways, so at the age of twenty-one I took Reiki Level One.

After spending a few years giving tarot readings, working with spirit and using my Reiki I made the decision to put spiritualism on the back burner for a while in order to pay greater attention to other areas of my life. Although I wasn’t actively doing anything spiritually, it never leaves you once you have it; so I still saw, heard and knew a lot during this time. Once I hit thirty and my life was settled I decided to throw myself back into spiritualism in a big way. I started my tarot readings again, got back into spiritual church, classes and circles; and within no time at all, it was as if I’d never been away. I then made the decision to learn some holistic therapies, so I did Indian Head Massage and Hopi Ear Candles. Next on my list was to finish my Reiki to Masters level, I wanted to finish my Reiki off with the best master I could find, so I did my research and found her. Once I’d finished my Reiki I decided to set up this website.

MY BELIEF

I believe that we come here, to the Earth to fulfil tasks and learn lessons, and once we have done what we came to do, we leave. Along our pathway here we may meander off our track every now and again to do other things, which causes our stay here to be longer. This is because it takes us longer to do what we came here to do if we keep coming off track.

Along our way we meet lots of different people, many of whom we have known previously in other lives. You will usually know who these people are because you may feel a strong bond with someone you barely know or feel very drawn to certain people.

We have all been here before, some of us more times than others. We are all souls housed within a shell known as the human body. We keep the same soul throughout every life, but we are different people each time we are reborn. Our soul is also known as The Higher Self, and it stores all of the information from each and every life we’ve had. This is why when we are regressed we can describe details from past lives. Our eartheric (earthly) body is just the house for our soul to live in whilst we are here on Earth. We do not necessarily come back as the same sex each time, it varies. I know that I have been both men and women previously.

Sometimes we may carry something with us from a previous life into this life that can impact on the way that we live. For example: If in a previous life you were a slave, locked up in a dark cold basement for days on end, with no way out, no escape, no fresh air; you could enter this life with claustrophobia (a fear of closed in spaces).

We come here alone, and we leave alone; and everyone obviously has to leave at some point.

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